Counselors share insights on grief process in Cummings aftermath

In the weeks since the Jan. 4 shooting of eighth-grade student Jaime Gonzalez Jr. at Cummings Middle School, counselors from schools across the Brownsville Independent School District have sought to make themselves available to anyone who has wanted to talk about Gonzalez’s tragic death.

As part of that effort, a team of BISD counselors last week made a presentation at Veterans Memorial High School concerning the four stages of grief and post-traumatic stress disorder as it affects children. The presentation was targeted for parents from the Veterans Memorial and Pace High School cluster schools but was based on the same information that counselors are sharing throughout the district, said Carlos Guerra, Guidance and Counseling administrator. Cummings is part of the Pace cluster of schools

Counselor Michelle Davis from Stell Middle School presented the information first in English. Then, Martha Walker, a counselor from Paredes Elementary, repeated the information in Spanish.

Gonzalez died after pointing a pellet gun that looked like a Glock semiautomatic pistol at Brownsville police officers in front of the principal’s office and refusing to drop the weapon. Gonzalez was shot at least twice and died shortly afterward at Valley Baptist Medical Center. An investigation of the shooting is ongoing.

Davis said the events at Cummings that morning were so traumatic that students and adults who were present are susceptible to PTSD, a severe anxiety disorder that can occur after exposure to psychologi-cally traumatic events.

The day after the shooting, few students attended classes, held at Breeden Elementary, and the day af-ter that only about 500 out of an enrollment of 750 students went to school when Cummings reopened, Davis said.

“We want to point out the signs of PTSD in children so that the community can get to the healing part,” Davis said. She said the Cummings community and Brownsville as a whole appear to be moving into the healing stages of the grief process.

After the shooting, 40 counselors with 40 scribes went into the classrooms at Cummings and talked to students, Davis said. “We saw over 400 students that week,” she said.

“After a traumatic event, it is normal to feel frightened, sad, anxious and disoriented,” Davis said. “Usually with time those feelings will fade, but a person can get stuck in those feelings. If a child is hav-ing trouble getting back to regular life, he or she could be suffering from PTSD.”

Davis then added: “Know that with counseling a person can get back to normal life.”

She said a PTSD response to trauma generally falls into three categories:

>> Reliving the event — with flashback episodes, repeated upsetting memories of the episode, night-mares and strong, uncomfortable reactions that remind a person of the event.

>> Avoidance — which includes emotional “numbing” or feeling as though you don’t care about any-thing, feeling detached, being unable to remember important aspects of the trauma, and avoiding places, people or thoughts that remind you of the event, such as missing school.

>> Arousal — which includes difficulty concentrating, getting scared easily, feeling irritable, having outbursts of anger and having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep.

Davis said children might feel guilt about the event, including “survivor guilt,” and might show symp-toms such as agitation or hyperactivity, dizziness, fainting, feeling your heart beat in your chest or head-ache.

She said that parents who suspect that their child is suffering from PTSD should get help immediately, adding that PTSD is not a sign of weakness.

“The difference between a normal response and PTSD is the intensity of the feelings,” Davis said. “It’s important as parents to look for these symptoms because if you push it back, it doesn’t go away.”

Davis also talked about the four stages of grief in children. These include:

>> Shock and numbness, or denial.

She said parents should be patient, listen, give their child space to think through the loss and make themselves available when the child is ready to talk.

>> Yearning and searching, or anger.

In this stage, parents should allow their child to express their feelings, realize that those feelings can change drastically from day to day, and remain calm.

“We saw a lot of anger in the Cummings students,” Davis said. “The grief process is completely, 100 percent individual. The anger is still there even now. It’s existing still.”

>> Disorientation, disorganization and depression.

During this stage, children may experience extreme sadness or depression over the loss. “As parents it is important to make sure the child is getting enough to eat and adequate rest,” Davis said. “Nature has incredible ways of helping us to heal. Take time to go to the beach or to the park.”

>> The final stage is reorganization, resolution and acceptance.

In this stage, the child begins to accept the loss and go on with their life. Davis said children can fluctu-ate back into previous stages, so parents need to be alert.

“You may notice that they seem less sad, that he or she has more energy and is able to think more clearly again,” Davis said. “I can’t stress enough to listen. You are the most important person to your child.”